The First Ever Southern England Chromatic Button Accordion Rally
Saturday 7th October 2017 near Didcot Oxfordshire
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J.S. Bach, Toccata in D-minor, BMV565

Your recordings, audio or video - let's have a listen!
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Acon
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Re: J.S. Bach, Toccata in D-minor, BMV565

Post by Acon » Mon Dec 12, 2016 12:29 pm

maugein96,

Thanks for sharing all this for me. Your kind words made me feel I'm not alone. Yes I truly suffer the issues you mentioned. I was a teacher in the university and a founder of my own business, and I got no problem teaching or making a lecture in front of dozens, even hundreds of people. Of course I always needed to be fully prepared and to do the rehearsals for many many times, but once I got all these "exercise" done I became confident and could make my "performance" almost perfect (of course that's in Chinese language, not English. I couldn't imagine myself making a speech in English for over 1 person, haha).

But music performing is just like the Achilles tendon for me. I think it's partly because I got good ears to distinguish and appreciate music performance so when playing in front of others I start to be too concentrated on the sound I am producing. In other words I start to think myself as the audience and criticize myself very hard.

My genetic background may have made it worse. My family suffers from some mental illnesses like autism, Asperger syndrome, and depression. Also I got some metabolic issue so I sweat a lot when getting nervous, which is no good for playing music.

Anyway playing music in front of people is like a lifetime dream for me. Hope my new teacher can help me to deal with my problem :).

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Re: J.S. Bach, Toccata in D-minor, BMV565

Post by maugein96 » Mon Dec 12, 2016 12:53 pm

Acon wrote: But music performing is just like the Achilles tendon for me. I think it's partly because I got good ears to distinguish and appreciate music performance so when playing in front of others I start to be too concentrated on the sound I am producing. In other words I start to think myself as the audience and criticize myself very hard.
That's exactly what I think. I start to wonder if I've maybe overdone it, or am not putting the right ambience into it. I've always been inclined to be too self-critical and it often gets to the stage where it is more than just a hang up. I have missed out on career opportunities and never made it as a professional player on any instrument I've played as a result.

I think I could possibly get to grips with public speaking and lecturing if I did it all the time, but I'm not so sure about music. The only formal music training I had was on trumpet, and that is a lot easier to play than an accordion. Problem with instruments only capable of single note melodies is that chords are a bit of an unknown quantity and it took me many years before I could start to make sense of them. I played harmonica as a kid along with my late father and we had some great times doing that. I had no fear of playing in front of people with the harmonica, as I was just a kid and never cared what anybody thought. I'm convinced that is the answer to the problem. Start very young when you are carefree, or just play the harmonica, as it's so easy! (It's actually not all that easy when you get into chromatic instruments).

I'm sure you'll get there, as you obviously have far greater ability than most, and if you believe that in yourself you'll realise that the audience is enjoying your playing. Some guys on here will maybe find one or two technical issues with anybody's playing, but that's just the way things are. Many a time I've listened to a well respected professional player and thought that I had heard better. I wouldn't necessarily be openly critical of the playing, but some people prefer certain playing styles over others.

Be careful she doesn't drop that bayan on you and you'll be OK!

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Re: J.S. Bach, Toccata in D-minor, BMV565

Post by Acon » Mon Dec 12, 2016 1:38 pm

All my true appreciation for your words maugein96. You and other guys made my day.

Cheers.
Acon

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Re: J.S. Bach, Toccata in D-minor, BMV565

Post by simonking » Wed Dec 14, 2016 11:08 pm

Acon, that is absolutely superb. Top class skill, without a doubt - I can't wait to hear the Fugue!

It should only take you a few weeks at the rate you're going! (Many years ago, I tried to learn the first two pages of a Stradella bass arrangement of the fugue. Even learning that section to a very unsatisfactory standard took me a long long time so I know how difficult it is!)

Simon.

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Re: J.S. Bach, Toccata in D-minor, BMV565

Post by fjsys » Thu Dec 15, 2016 3:04 am

Truly amazing!
I have tried the Palmer Hughes arrangement of that piece in the past, but was never that good at it. Congratulations!

and I am right there with you on performance anxiety (especially on the hard pieces) I can get up and give a cold (or improvised) demo of the software that my company sells, but ask me to perform with my accordion and I cannot seem to play.

Ben

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Re: J.S. Bach, Toccata in D-minor, BMV565

Post by JerryPH » Thu Dec 15, 2016 10:07 am

In a way, I find it facinating. My BJJ instructor often refers to this as leaving your mind in the gym or dojo. One guy at our school regylarly beats some of the top fighters and recently went to a competition. He lasted like 10 seconds before loosing his match.

I am an educator by nature, and though public speaking is challenging, I can do it well, and after the furst 5 minutes, just flow. I could not do that last week when I played in public for the first time in several decades, I was a bloody emotional mess that first hour, but at the second set, it did come 1% easier, so perhaps over time I can learn to overcome this feeling of dread.

I know that I never felt anything like this as a kid, instead feeling confident, relaxed on stage and pin-point focused, but thats a totally different world, one that perhaps thankfully I don't have to relive again.

I think that the suggestion of playing with a 2nd musician has great merit, because you are not being scrutinized, but in an equal partnership for a few seconds with another person. Start with a partner in private and then later maybe with 1 person listening, 2, 3, and so on, it might be a way to work through stage fright, ultimately building up to a full public performance.

Just the fact that Acon can record a video and present it here tells me that there is great potential to get over any hurdles he feels that he has about public playing. :)
My musical memoires blog/website: http://www.AccordionMemories.com

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Re: J.S. Bach, Toccata in D-minor, BMV565

Post by Acon » Thu Dec 15, 2016 12:34 pm

JerryPH wrote:I think that the suggestion of playing with a 2nd musician has great merit, because you are not being scrutinized, but in an equal partnership for a few seconds with another person. Start with a partner in private and then later maybe with 1 person listening, 2, 3, and so on, it might be a way to work through stage fright, ultimately building up to a full public performance.
Thanks Jerry, that's what I want to do. I shall try my wife first. :D Usually she stays in the room when I play, but once she finds I finishing some good passage and turns her head praising me, I start to mess up. So maybe I'll tie her to a chair and force her to look at me playing so I can practice torturing my victim with Bach.

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Re: J.S. Bach, Toccata in D-minor, BMV565

Post by JerryPH » Thu Dec 15, 2016 4:36 pm

Acon wrote:Thanks Jerry, that's what I want to do. I shall try my wife first. :D Usually she stays in the room when I play, but once she finds I finishing some good passage and turns her head praising me, I start to mess up. So maybe I'll tie her to a chair and force her to look at me playing so I can practice torturing my victim with Bach.
Haha... J.S. is not a favorite of all people, but I don't consider it a bad torture. I say let her do what she wants and you concentrate on the music. I think you possibly have a variation of something that I have... and that is when I play, I cannot talk and when I talk, I cannot play... lol Suffice to say that singing and playing is not something I will ever do, unless I work on it, but since I have auditory near perfect pitch, I cannot stand listening to myself sing, as I don't have a perfect voice tone or control... lol

No matter what you try it will all help, even if that means putting a radio in the room with you on your favorite station to distract you while playing or bringing in a group as you play or even walking down a busy street playing a few fun and easy tunes before breaking out in to Bach. :)
My musical memoires blog/website: http://www.AccordionMemories.com

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Re: J.S. Bach, Toccata in D-minor, BMV565

Post by Auser » Sat Dec 17, 2016 9:45 pm

Man,
I like it more than any other I heard before
So clean, so precise, so easygoing to play and yet expressing everything it should

Wonderful

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Re: J.S. Bach, Toccata in D-minor, BMV565

Post by attila57 » Mon May 15, 2017 11:37 pm

Brilliant! I cannot wait to play a CBA.

Attila

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